‘Halloween Ends:’ Review

For a few minutes in this film, I thought, “Is Halloween ending?” Here’s the thing. The movie isn’t actually that great, and you know what I’m going to say. It did not need to be almost two hours long. This could have been a good hour and a half, AND I wouldn’t have minded a spin off. We’ll get to that in a minute.

Let’s start here. Michael is old and it shows. You know who else is old? Laurie. This is a movie that semi follows two people who are the oldest folk in the movie and probably in the cast. They tried to do the thing where the main focus lies on the new, fresh, young folks, but they aggravated my nerves and so it didn’t work for me. Michael is out here killing folk and is in need of a breathing apparatuses afterwards. I don’t need my serial killers on a breathing machine!

Still on the topic of Michael, I need to speak to the writers. How do you expect us to believe that Michael has just been in a sewer under the bridge in the town for FOUR WHOLE YEARS and nobody is aware? The homeless man said that he pulls people in there from time to time and not once did I hear about anyone in the town being concerned about people disappearing. In that same vein, what is he eating? Do he and the homeless man have a deal? Like I needed an entire backstory on how he was living.

Let’s move to Corey, who got on my nerves. Let me tell you what I didn’t understand. I have to start with the bad first. When he found Michael down in that hole and he looked at him, the filmmakers made it seem like Michael has super powers because immediately after that Corey was an entirely different person. I thought they were trying to illustrate Michael possessing Corey. So for a little while after that, I thought Michael had possessed Corey and he was walking around trying to get his bearings in this new body. Later, I just realized Corey is stupid and traumatized. Now, I did just watch the a review done by, dare I say it, Double Toasted, where one of their hosts Corey mentioned that he loved how the movie started. I did as well, It was a stark difference from the norm. They make us think that Michael is going to come out from somewhere and it ends with Corey accidentally killing a kid. Who knew it would go there? (RIP to that fictional kid) Also, the mom did a lot. I know your kid is dead and Corey did kill him, but after an autopsy and based on what you saw and hear when you came into that house, you knew that man did not kill that kid on purpose. The dad later said he knew but where have you been sir?!

So, piggybacking off of that, while watching this film, I almost thought that they were setting this series up to be done but leave us with Corey as the next generation. We wouldn’t necessarily need a whole spinoff but it would lend itself to the theme of Michael not being special. As they kept saying throughout the film, he’s just a man. I thought it would have been cool if after they crushed Michael we were still left with Corey because evil never really dies and I think that’s the theme of Halloween.

While we’re here, WHO IS MICHAEL? Is he just a man because, I’m just going to tell it, Laurie literally took knives to this mans hands and his knees, which I KNOW are weak at best. THEN, she had threw a refrigerator down on the leg to pin him. She slit his throat AND THIS MAN WAS STILL ABLE TO CHOKE HER. HOW?! At this point, all the blood in his body was on the floor. You had to slit his wrists to finally kill him? No ma’am.

Laurie, it’s real melodramatic over there. The drama between you and your granddaughter was real we don’t need to do this. She’s an adult and she’s arguing with her grandma about her new dude, that grandma doesn’t like, like she’s a teenager. Also, my best friend and I want to know why y’all haven’t move? Now, I can get with this is my home and I don’t want to leave what’s familiar to me, but and however, move. A serial killer has been after you for years because you are the one person who got away. You tried to hunt the man in the last film and that didn’t work, so just move, Laurie. You can write that melodramatic book anywhere!

Also, did anyone else laugh when they had this makeshift funeral procession for Michael to be crushed by that machine? Just me? Ok.

As I said, overall, this is a terribly long horror movie backed by geriatric characters, not the actors. The love story didn’t really work for me like I think the people who made this film wanted it to. The band kids got on my nerves although I did feel bad for Margo, who as one point in the film I called Mango, because she didn’t really want to be mean to Corey but she also did nothing to stop it. So, I get when he ran her over. Sorry, Mango.

Halloween Ends is in theaters and on Peacock, that we only have to watch Bel-Air, but I heard there is a special going on. Or you can go to your best friend’s house, eat snacks, bond, and get on her nerves like I did.

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