I want to take this time and pour one out for Aunt May. Even though this is all her fault, it was heart wrenching to see her go out like that and at the hands of someone she wanted to help.
Marisa Tomei finally had some good Marvel money and y’all killed her. Don’t cry for her, Argentina. Remember, she has an Oscar. I thought reintroducing the other two Spider-Men would not go as well as it did. There is nothing like being in a theater full of nerds and cheering, screaming and clapping at the same time. This is why I saw you must see Marvel films IN THE THEATER. You will be clapping and cheering alone and it really is sad because it doesn’t hit the same. First off, someone must explain Ned’s family lineage because it took Strange MONTHS to master opening a portal and Ned figured it out in a few hours. And yes, I’m ignoring the grandma telling him they have magic in the family. That’s too easy. We’re missing something and Strange recognized that when he asked Ned briefly about it when he finally got back from the mirror dimension. While we’re talking about the mirror dimension, bravo to Peter for recognizing that the mirror dimension operates off the basics of geometry. Imagine how many villains would have defeated Strange and the Ancient One if they had figured that out? Thanos would probably be the least of our worries.
What I love about this series, and what they tried to do with the other two, is the progression and maturity of Peter. I think Tom Holland’s Peter Parker has had the worse time growing up for a couple of reasons. One, he’s the youngest. Two, his Uncle Ben was Tony, and as we all know, Tony was no nurturer. He really only had Aunt May. I’m a traditionalist and truly believe that no one can teach a man to be a man but a man. Amen? Amen. Three, Tony just died and he’s scrambling to find that next male fatherlike figure in his life, which could be Happy. Never remembered that his name was Harold. I don’t like it. That is why this film is pivotal. Tom Holland’s Peter finally gets some male figures that he can look up to that have been through what he’s going through because, let’s be honest, he’s been lost long before Tony came into his life.
Is it me, or did Jamie Foxx’s Electro get way more screen time than he needed to have? He got more time than Willem Dafoe and Green Goblin, in my opinion, is more dangerous than the other three AND he killed Aunt May. Could you believe that I forgot all about Green Goblin once they cured everybody else? When Strange got back from the mirror dimension, well was brought back on accident, I was like, “Go ‘head and send em all back. We’re done.” I love Jamie but Electro was really just a distraction. Also, why was Dr. Conners even there? He just talked in a fancy accent as his lizard self and….added to chaos but not really in a good way. It wasn’t even like he tried to recreate the lizard formula in this reality. He was just there…as a lizard…for no real reason. I get nostalgia but do something.
Let’s go back to Willem Dafoe as Norman Osborn. I just looked it up and this man does not have an Oscar. I know this sounds real extra because this is really just a superhero movie but GIVE THIS MAN IS OSCAR. Every scene he was in was RIVETING! He annoyed me, excited me and scared me all in the same scene! C’mon man! Cut out the three Spider-Man reveal, he was the belle of the ball, y’all! I could watch him all day AND he gave me my favorite scene of the entire film, besides the MJ and Peter scenes. The scene where Tom Holland’s Peter is beating the crap out of Green Goblin and Tobey Maguire’s Peter Parker stops him from impaling him with the hover craft by just looking him the eyes, calling back to a conversation all three of the Spider-Men had earlier about fixing things and not letting rage take over when you lose something or someone. It was so powerful much like the scene in the first Tom Holland Spider-Man when he lifted the rubble. Dare I say it, this Spider-Man series might be better than the Iron Man series. This in no way means that Tom Holland is better than RDJ. Series, not actor.
Who’s seen Monsters University and thought that the Wizard’s Dungeon looked like the basement at Oozma Kappa, which was just Peter’s mom’s basement? Ok, this was probably just me but go back and look. I’m right!
We end this movie much like we did Endgame in the sense that everything is reset. The shield falling from the Statue of Liberty signaled that for me. These new Avengers, whoever that eventually end of being, don’t have to live in the shadow of the Avengers who took on Loki and his army in New York all those years ago. This is a new age with new threats–Multiversal threats. He and Starlord are just out here now…blowing in the wind. Although, Starlord at least has a makeshift family. He’e just missing Gamora. Peter really has NO ONE and sacrificed it all in order to save his reality and Strange…for now. I wanted to cry with him when he went to the shop and saw MJ and Ned living their lives together without him, but I loved that they showed us that he’s not giving up. He’s still going to try and get into school and he’s still going to keep being your neighborhood Spider-Man.
Now, what to do about Venom, and no, I did not see the movie because you all told me it was awful so I just took the “L.” Much like the Andrew Garfield Spider-Man. I literally just saw his first one like two weeks ago and I was not impressed. Taking that “L,” too. This is why he was Spider-Man #3. He knew why. He didn’t like it but he understood his place. While I’m here, I’m glad they talked about Tobey’s Spider-Man making his own webs. Actually, I’m glad they pointed out a lot of things like how lame Dr. Conners’ plan of making everyone a lizard person was because when I was that movie and found out that was his motivation, I was mad! We also pointed out that Electro had a whole makeover.
Last but not least, Wong and Strange. Anyone else think there is something else going on between those two besides the Sanctum Santorum being covered in snow? There was a certain….sternness, callousness, coldness in Wong’s tone when he said to Strange to leave him out of whatever he was planning to do for Peter. Also, what could this technicality be that makes Wong the Sorcerer Supreme and not Strange? Is Wong mad about the Wanda situation or something much bigger? Also, what has Wong been doing? We saw him in Shang-Chi with Abomination in what looks like a training session of sorts. This whole time we thought Strange was Sorcerer Supreme and knew everything about time and space. Turns out, he doesn’t know everything, and if you didn’t watch What If?, go ahead and do that because they’re calling back to it in the trailer! I want to pause to say that I am beyond excited to see Chiwetel Ejiofor back as Mordo. While you’re catching up on What If?, go ahead and rewatch Wandavision. We last saw her reading the Dark Hold so I imagine there will be a lot of Dark Magic needed to right some wrongs. Will we need Agatha? Hmmm….I don’t know but in one of those scenes of this makeshift trailer, I saw Strange in front, Wanda behind on one side and an unknown woman on the other side. Now, she didn’t look like Agatha but who else would know more about Dark Magic than Agatha? Would Loki pop in? Blade? I think Blade may be a ways down. After seeing the snippet we did, I don’t think he’d fit just yet, but we did see Venom and Daredevil AKA Matt Murdock for a few seconds so I don’t know…
Did I forget anything? This definitely deserves all the rewatches you can give it!
BLACK WATCH 