Hear Me Out: Hercules Live Action Casting

So this past week we got news that the incomparable Russo Brothers will be involved bringing the Hercules live action move to life, and of course, we all have thoughts on who should be who. Now, I sat with my friend Angie and together we came up with a list of some potentials. Here’s what I got.

Let’s start with Phil…..Danny Devito. We’re done there. Every site I saw said the same thing because WHO ELSE? I mean I guess we could find someone else but why mess with perfection?

Moving on to Zeus and Hera. In the animated movie, Zeus was kind of a man’s man. He was reminded me of a middle school football coach who just wants the kids to have fun. We came up with Gerard Butler, Luke Evans, and everyone’s go-to, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. I feel like Dwayne is the route they’ll take. He does well in children’s films and I really want this to have the same fun loving energy that the animated version had. Don’t change the tone like Mulan (we’ll talk later about that). I saw someone say Idris Elba which is another route they could go but my money is on The Rock or David Bautista. Hera is a little trickier. Hera is the calm side of Zeus. Very maternal energy, obviously because she is someone’s mother. We came up with Charlize Theron, Cate Blanchett, Angela Bassett, and hear my out, Sarah Paulsen. Among these ladies, I like Angela or Cate. Hera, for me, needs to be a woman who is older but doesn’t look that old, if that makes sense.

The Fates! There were three of them that Hades spoke to but I only originally had two people in mind, Leslie Jordan and Sarah Paulson. Now I just thought of someone, and again, hear me out, Leslie Jones. Sarah for the seriousness and the other two for the fun.

Pain and Panic you have to cast right and I think we all know who we want, Keegan Michael Key and Jordan Peele. They proved in Toy Story 4 that their dynamic is magic and that’s what we need from Pain and Panic. Now, in reading through various articles, I found another duo that I never thought about…John Mulaney and Nick Kroll. My favorite of the two, if I have to choose, would be Key and Peele, but if they’re occupied, Mulaney and Kroll will also work.

Megara. There is a love hate relationship with Meg but we understand why she did what she did. I want to make this EXTREMELY clear so I’m going to say it twice. I DO NOT WANT ARIANA GRANDE in this movie. PERIOD. I repeat, I do not want a pop star as Meg. Yes, I watched her on “Victorious” and “Sam and Cat.” I know she can act and I enjoyed her on those shows. And, yes, I am aware that she can sing but I do not need a pop star distracting us from the movie and she would be a SIGNIFICANT distraction. So here’s who I suggest. One, there is a new limited series on Netflix entitled “Hollywood”. Laura Ruth Harrier caught my eye. I haven’t started the series yet but she might be a little too sweet for Meg but we could go in that direction for the live action. Make Hercules falling in love with her more believable, not like it wasn’t before but still. My bet is for Zendaya though. Zendaya is more low key than Ariana and she has that edge that Meg had in the animated version.

So Hercules…we came up with a few people. What probably needs to happen is there has to be two Hercules, the young one and the mature one. So, hear me out, young Hercules can be played by Tom Holland. Young Hercules needs to be clumsy but hopeful and that is exactly who Holland was as Spider-Man, which is why we loved his version so much. Here’s the tricky part, either we can Captain America Holland or we can have another actor play the mature Hercules. I saw in some articles that Zac Efron had been thrown around and I like him for mature Hercules. We could also benefit from an unknown actor playing Hercules. Honestly, that would probably be better for us as an audience and nostalgic 90’s kids.

I left Hades for last on purpose because, let’s be honest, he is who came to see and if he isn’t casted right, you can forget it. So here’s what Ang and I came up with…..Ryan Reynolds, Tom Hiddleston, Wilheim Dufoe, Robert Downey Jr. and Benedict Cumberbatch. They all sound like great picks. Personally, I love the idea of Ryan Reynolds and RDJ just for the possible chemistry between Holland or Efron, but in reading through some articles, we found one that took our breath away….STANLEY TUCCI. Just imagine it. It’s perfect right. I can’t remember the article we read but god bless those people. A close second for me, James Spader.

I’m going to go ahead and say this is the best lineup ever. LOL. What do y’all think? Do you have anyone that we didn’t think of for any of these roles? Can you do better than Stanley Tucci? I think not.

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