So…I was today years old when I first saw “Misery.” Here’s what I knew. I knew Kathy Bates was brilliant in it and it involved her character kidnapping a man and, possibly, nearly killing him.
Here’s what I know now. “Misery” is a Stephen King novel adapted to screen by William Goldman and directed by Rob Reiner. Apparently, Reiner was the only person King would allow to do the film. Paul Sheldon is a famed writer of the Misery series. Was today years old when I learned that Misery is the titular character in a book that his kidnapper is obsessed with. Here I thought misery was just the state he was in the entire movie. Go figure. Anywho, Paul is finishing his latest novel now that the Misery series has come to an end…so he thinks. We’ll get there for those who remember.
He voyages to the same hotel in the same car by himself when he finishes his books. You would think that someone who goes to the same place year after year would pay attention to the weather conditions, but not Paul. Paul finishes his new book, and thinks he’s home free. But wait! There’s a huge snowstorm, and he’s driving like he’s driving on clear streets. At a certain point, I said to myself, “I can’t see, so I know you can’t see. Why are you still going this speed?” Surprise, surprise. He crashes, but don’t you worry. Although it seems bleak, Paul wakes up in a house with Annie Wilkes (played by Kathy Bates). She introduces herself as a nurse, and even though I know not to trust her because of clips I’ve seen of the film, I also don’t trust her because she’s wearing a jean dress and a turtleneck. Never trust a secluded woman in a jean dress and a turtleneck.
Of course the woman is bananas. Paul lets her read his new book. She yells at him about the foul language in it and makes him burn it. Then, she reads his new book (the one where Misery dies) and she flips. She is livid and so she demands that Paul awake Misery from the dead.
I want to pause here a second. You know what I love about 80’s and 90’s movies? They have impeccable timing. As soon I wondered what was going on with this lady, she starts talking about losing her husband. Later, we find out she’s basically a serial killer.
I want to give a huge shoutout to that town sheriff and his wife and Paul’s agent. His agent was smart enough to know that his routine was thrown off because she was part of that routine and she listened to her instinct. The sheriff of the town and his wife, who doubles as the deputy, gave me the comedic relief that I needed. He also conducted some of the best police work I have ever seen on television, in a movie, and in real life. I was shocked she shot that man like that, but I also knew he should have left in his lil’ truck and told the FBI, CIA, or local police that he knew where Paul was and left them handle it. RIP to that man.
As we circle to the end of the film, I’m reminded of “Home Alone,” and I’ll tell you why. You know how Kevin hit Marv and Harry with all those things that should have killed them? Paul was able to take a blunt object, hit Annie in the face with it, and she died. Not at all what happened in “Home Alone,” but you know, kid’s movie.
My favorite part of this movie has nothing to do with Paul or Annie. It is a scene with the sheriff and his wife. The sheriff goes to the local store and buys all of Paul’s books to see if reading them can help him find where Paul may be. Someone calls the sheriff’s office looking for him and his wife answers the phone. Hilarity ensues. She picks up the phone and tells whoever is calling that she doesn’t know where her husband is and he never tells her where he’s going anymore. She then says to the person on the phone that he’s probably having an affair. Then, he walks in the door. You would think the funny stops there. It does not. The sheriff takes the phone and starts to talk to the person on the other line. Apparently, the person is a store owner who is mad about people sitting on a bench they put outside their store. The sheriff goes, “If you put a bench outside your store, people are bound to sit on it.” I do not know why that made me holler! Again, not even the best part. His wife is unpacking his bag as he’s on the phone, and she sees all these romance novels. She says to her husband, “Is this what she likes to read?” His response, “I’m flattered you think I have that much energy and your sarcasm is what has fueled our marriage for this long.” I might not have gotten the lines verbatim but this is basically what was said and I had a ball with this scene. I have not read the book, but I hope this is in the book VERBATIM!
Alright, who has seen “Misery” and wants to discuss the trauma this imposed on them?
