I am a LGBTQIA and all the other letters ally, so I indulge in a lot of LBGTQIA content. This documentary made me feel good inside because it was more about the outcome of this story and less about the murder. Let me elaborate.
I started off watching this documentary annoyed because I watched “Paris is Burning” and I remember Venus Xtravaganza. There was something so captivating about her, mainly because she was both sweet and feisty. Like they reiterated in the doc, she just wanted to be happy with her own family. She wanted a husband, a house, and kids. Simple. Well, she did mention a rich man, but how rich is rich?
Back to the doc. I was annoyed because we started the doc with the brothers, who did address her correctly, lovingly talking about their sister. Here’s why I’m upset about that. How did she end up having to create a new family if you all loved her so much? This is what I said in my mind, and I’m glad when met Jose that he addressed that. I felt better after that discussion. The brothers did something most people don’t do in these type of docs. They admitted that they loved their sister but maybe didn’t love her the way she wanted or needed to be loved by her family. I think this was a poignant statement made by one of her brothers that is a word for the trans community as well as those who are part of their birth family. The trans community has to understand that sometimes the birth family doesn’t have the tools to understand all of what they may need. And the family must understand that their lack of understanding and treatment after that misunderstanding is what causes so many of the members of the trans community to go searching for that validation. Personally, I think it’s an issue of the family wanting that person to be who they want them to be. They just understand that that is not how life works.
What I loved about Venus’ birth family is that throughout the entire process, we, the audience, knew Venus was loved in a way that many trans people can only dream. Her birth family loved her so much that they included her chosen family in the reopening of the case, her official name change, and making their grandmother’s house a landmark. (Grandmother’s house is where Venus lived. Across the street from the home where her brothers lived.)
It was so refreshing to hear the brothers talk about the Venus they knew and get to know the Venus who lived in NY and stomped the ballroom floors. I feel both happy and sad. Sad mainly because I thought about all the stories from girls on “RuPaul’s Drag Race” whose birth family just never speak to them after they explain to them who they are. But, I do hope someone out there will see this doc, relate, and do something. I feel like a doc like this requires some type of action.
Watch this doc. Feel good about it! Venus is an icon. Trans people are literally just people minding their business. Leave them alone. Just like religion, you don’t have to practice the same beliefs but you should respect those other religions. Respecting trans people goes the same way. This has been my TED talk.
